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| Na na na na na na na na Batman! I mean... Leader! |
[fri jul 18th, 2008 »1:23p] |
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Ass-kicked |
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Propagandhi- Less Talk, More Rock |
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You know you're in for a great night when you're standing in a crowded movie theatre lobby with lines stretching out into the parking lot, to your right is Batman and to your left is the Joker and they've refrained from fighting because the movie they're about to see is going to kick so much ass that there's no need for them to do so. Yes, that is how good The Dark Knight was.
OK, so the Batman and Joker in question were just two nerds in costumes (only one of which was even halfway decent. I'm sorry, but it takes a lot of money to make a convincing Bat suit), but really, who's to say a full-blown riot wouldn't have broken out if the two had, let's say, just passed each other on the street while walking their dogs or something? Clearly, we all avoided a catastrophe last night thanks to Christopher Nolan et al.
Anyways, back to the ass-kicking. The Dark Knight kicked so much ass it made Iron Man look like Astro Boy. Yeah, go cry into your metallic hot pants, Robert Downey Jr. Take notes, Edward Norton: this is how you recreate a floundering comic book franchise. Seth MacFarlane, if you really wanted to get back in my good books, maybe you should have bought your way into The Dark Knight instead of Hellboy II (insert derisive laugh here). Most of my disappointment with the other comic book movies of the summer can be owed to Heath Ledger's performance as the Joker. The villains in the films mentioned above (with the exception of Hellboy II, which I can't really be bothered to see, so I can't speak for its villains) were lackluster and two-dimensional, and the Joker just shamed them even more. All the hype and praise Ledger's performance has received over the past few months was entirely deserved. He was simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. At points I would find myself thinking "I would totally pay to see that guy's stand up," and then he would ram a pencil into a guy's forehead without hesitation and I would find myself thinking "On second thought, I wonder if I can get a refund." It was well worth the hour-and-a-half spent in line in front of the guy complaining about how many Filipinos he saw at the movies last week, the two-and-a-half-hour running time, and the ten minute wait in line for the ladies' room after downing a large iced tea half-an-hour into the two-and-a-half-hour movie.
And what would one of my reviews be without a Strangers With Candy reference, so I will leave you with this: Aaron Eckhart, your face... it was such a nice one.
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| You know Daddy's not allowed in the zoo anymore! |
[fri jul 11th, 2008 »6:39p] |
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Fulfilled |
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music |
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CSI: Miami |
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I probably shouldn't have, but I skipped out on work early today and spent the afternoon at the zoo. We have so much going on: We have to pack up all of our spring merchandise and ship it out to other outlet stores in Ontario by Monday. We got all of the information yesterday. These transfers will pretty much clean out the entire sales floor. They're huge. And they have to be done by Monday. We also have to empty out all of the fall merchandise from storage, most of which has been sitting in boxes since I don't even know when (for example: a stunning pair of purple tweed pants), and use that merchandise to fill the empty spots left by the outgoing spring merchandise. Yup, we're busy.
But my dad invited me and my sister to join him on a tour of the zoo today, and the last time I was actually at the zoo was in grade 7, so I said "Screw you guys, I'm going to the zoo." I think it was the right choice.
I met Boris the Francophone Siberian tiger, who is both the most adorable and the most terrifying cat I've ever come across. He would rub up against the bars of the enclosure looking for someone to scratch his ears (we did not oblige him because we are not idiots), but as soon as you turned your back to him he would pounce in the general direction of your head. My dad finds his attempts at mauling hilarious. I almost shit my pants. (The Dean Treichel in the article above is the dad that I refer to throughout this entry. That's right, my dad works at the zoo.)
Lucy was out for a walk when we saw her. There's nothing quite like standing next to a full grown Asian elephant to make you feel really short. Bless her heart.
I finally got to see the red panda cubs that were born at the zoo last year. I wish I had brought a real camera because my crappy camera phone cannot do the cuteness of these animals justice. See? Also, I don't have the appropriate USB cord needed to upload the photos which, despite the crapiness, are still pretty fucking cute. Really, you guys should see how cute these things are, but you can't. And that sucks. Oh well. At least I got to see them. Man, they're so cute they make my cats look like giant, walking scabies rashes. Seriously.
And that's what I did instead of working today. It may not have been the most responsible choice, but when was the last time I was truly irresponsible? I think I was long overdue. And at least this was educational. Now I know that certain breeds of snakes actually have tiny hind legs, a remnant from one of their previous evolutionary stages. I bettered myself mentally. I couldn't have done that while at work.
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| The only true Catwoman is Julie Newmar, Lee Meriweather, or Eartha Kitt. |
[tue jul 8th, 2008 »12:17a] |
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Psyched |
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Kanye West- Good Life |
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Remember how I said I hate my job but I'm sticking with it until September? Well, I found out about a week-and-a-half ago that head office has decided to close my location, so I suddenly hate it a lot less now that I only have to tough it out until July 31st. I'm actually deriving a considerable amount of joy from knowing that the shithole I call a workplace will no longer exist at the end of the month. I also really enjoy listening to my employees lamenting the loss of the store they have spent the last two-and-a-half-years of their lives in. Retail management has turned me into one hell of a sadistic bitch. I'm pretty sure this is how the Joker would react had he decided to waste three years* of his life working in retail.
Speaking of the Joker (nice tie-in, huh?), how fucking awesome is The Dark Knight going to be? I saw Iron Man earlier this summer and I thought that was going to be the be-all, end-all film of 2008 (Mmm... Robert Downey Jr....), but after seeing numerous leaked Dark Knight clips, I am convinced that Batman could totally kick Iron Man's ass. Of course, I would sincerely hope that the two would refrain from trying to kick each other's ass, since they're of the same ideological mindset, but if it came down to it, like if Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne were at the same big society function and they had their eyes on the same gold-digging floozy and they decided to settle the whole thing with a little hand-to-mechanical-hand combat, then I'm pretty sure... actually, come to think of it, I think Iron Man would take that fight. As neat as Batman's little utility belt is, it seems pretty lame next to Iron Man's robot suit. But Batman will probably have the better movie. That has to be some kind of consolation, right?
*The requisite amount of time spent working in retail needed to render one completely dead inside, and therefore completely uninterested in everything else in the world, including unleashing havoc and chaos on entire cities.
Addendum: I feel I should disclose some of the reasons I hate my current position.
1. The store is falling apart. We're located in the oldest section of West Edmonton Mall, a section that was built in the early eighties and subsequently forgotten about once the rest of the mall went up. In January, before I was transferred to the store, a large water pipe froze and then burst, flooding the entire back room and fitting room section of the store. There are large holes in the flooring that everybody trips on. The front gate won't open all the way and the back room smells like mold all the time.
2. It's an outlet so yes, our standards are a little more lax than a regular store. I don't mind that. Unfortunately, just the very concept of standards is entirely foreign to my staff, so when I ask someone to clean a table or two, they stare at me like I've just asked them to kill a puppy.
3. My management staff consists of two types of people: People who don't care about their job at all and people who care way too much about their job and believe everything is their responsibility, like if one of the other locations in the mall doesn't have enough $5 bills, they will call and harass the other locations to try and get bills for the store that is short, even though it was the other store's fault for not ordering enough $5 bills in the first place. And then they accuse the other stores of lying about the quantity of $5 bills they have on hand and I get a call from the manager of that store on my day off, chastising me for how my staff conduct themselves, and then I get a call from my staff member who complains that the manager of the other store is being "childish" for wanting to file a complaint against them. Does this paragraph make sense? I don't care.
4. Most of the people I work with are still in high school and I feel really fucking old, even though I'm only 23.
5. The express buses stop running at a certain time, so it takes me an hour to get home when I have to close, and the buses are always packed with dirty, smelly mallrats. My bus on Saturday was full of raver goths.
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| Can you set the oven to cold? |
[fri jul 4th, 2008 »6:30p] |
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mood |
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Sweaty |
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Chixdiggit!- Brunette Summer |
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I don't care that it was 33 degrees celsius today, an iPod is an inanimate object and therefore gets no say in whether I dress it up like a panda or not, or what weather I choose to do so in.
( Observe. )
This iPod abuse comes courtesy of ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) psychobiddy and her amazing crochet skills.
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| Anyone can miss Canada, all tucked away down there. |
[tue jul 1st, 2008 »11:28p] |
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Patriotic |
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Thrush Hermit- The Day We Hit the Coast |
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Happy Canada Day to all my fellow Canadians on my friends list, and even my non-fellow Canadians, because if there's one thing Canadians are, it's inclusive. Not necessarily towards each other, as I found out today at work after wishing numerous people a Happy Canada Day today and not receiving a single similar wish in return. But we have an international reputation to uphold, so at least we're welcoming on an international stage (unless you were an Eastern European Jew during World War II, then it was a whole different story... *cough*).
I was quite disappointed in my country by the time I got home from work today, so instead of ingesting some grade A Alberta beef, I went with some Asian-themed noodles. I watched some American television and listened to some Swedish disco, all in protest of my ungrateful country. I mean, what better way of getting back at your jerk country by spurning everything it purports to make it great and replacing it with its international cultural rivals?
Well, I immersed myself in my Canada-loathing reverie until approximately 11:04 PM, when the first firework of the night went off. As luck would have it, my apartment building is strategically located in the river valley and my apartment is conveniently facing the High Level Bridge, where the fireworks display takes place, so I had a very advantageous view of the fireworks indeed. And best of all, I didn't have to rub elbows with all the jerks who wouldn't grant me the courtesy of a half-hearted, empty-gestured "Happy Canada Day to you, too."
Then the fireworks ended, and what seemed like the entire city of Edmonton cheered loudly and simultaneously, and then I realized that the rest of the country was probably doing the same thing at that very moment (or a couple hours earlier, what with the different time zones and all), and in that overwhelmingly patriotic moment, I stopped hating Canada.
And then, everybody started up with the honking of their car horns and haven't stopped since. Way to ruin the moment, Canada.
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| They have the internet on computers now? |
[mon jun 23rd, 2008 »11:06a] |
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Amused |
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Chixdiggit!- I Remember You |
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I think I just found the coolest thing on the internet. This is how I'm writing all my entries from now on.
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| The chariot of the people. The ride of choice for the poor and very poor alike. |
[sun jun 15th, 2008 »11:16p] |
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Concerned |
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The New Pornographers- Twin Cinema |
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Now, I don't particularly enjoy the bus on the best of days, so my ride to work on Saturday afternoon for my closing shift (until 10 PM) in the biggest mall in North America during our "50% off the last ticketed price on everything in the entire store!" sale was already off to a bad start even before I got on the bus. When the bus came (10 minutes late, which is another rant entirely) there was standing room only. Awesome.
The bus I take to work is an express, meaning there are no stops between downtown and the mall. Actually, it's a "Super Express" as advertised on the front of the fucking bus. Anyways... Halfway through the journey, someone behind me starts hammering repeatedly on the stop button. After a few blocks pass without a stop, the guy barrels towards the door, shoving me and about three other people forward. "Doesn't this fucking thing stop anytime soon?" He asks of no one in particular. The guy beside me tells him as politely as possible that it won't stop before it gets to the mall, to which the guy replies:
"FUCK! I HATE THE FUCKING BUS! THIS FUCKING SUCKS!" Etc... (And, of course, there are children on board)
The bus driver then takes notices and asks what's going on. "I GOT ON THE WRONG FUCKING BUS!" He screams. "Well, that's not my problem," the driver replies (I am with her on this one, but, admittedly, I would have preferred that she had stopped and let the rage case off). Unfortunately, for all his fury, the poor guy cannot come up with a good comeback. "WELL, SO IS YOUR ANNOYANCE... ...not my problem..." So, at least the whole ordeal ended on a high note: I got a pretty good laugh out of it.
But seriously, relax. And if you don't know what bus you need to be on, ask. And if you can't do either of those, at least have the common decency to not swear like a sailor in front of complete strangers, let alone children. Douche.
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| This is a rock concert, not the bleeding splish-splash show. |
[thu jun 12th, 2008 »11:10p] |
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Cautiously optimistic |
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Propagandhi- Today's Empires, Tomorrow's Ashes |
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I hate my job. I really do. But I'm only in this position until September, so I've become resigned to the fact that my job is slowly crushing the life out of me. Instead of looking for another job, I've decided instead to come up with some outlets to channel the rage that builds up at work into something productive. Or if not productive, at least something that doesn't involve drinking myself into oblivion.
The first thing I have decided on is the purchasing of a guitar. Back when I was young, optimistic and a little naive, I found my dad's old guitar in my basement and I convinced my parents to sign me up for a few lessons. I wasn't bad but I wasn't great and I never had patience for anything I couldn't master right away so I gave up eventually, my dreams of punk rock stardom never to be realized. Now I'm a little older and a little wiser, so I've decided to give the guitar a try again. And I'm buying a new one because my dad skimped when he bought his in the 70s and I'd rather not deal with raw, bloody fingertips again (that may have also had something to do with my initial failure...). I don't expect to go anywhere with it, nor do I particularly want to, but it would be nice to develop some sort of talent. That and I can use it to annoy my upstairs neighbours who keep throwing shit on my balcony.
If the guitar endeavour is successful (and I will measure success not on how well I can actually play but how long I stick with it), I might dust off my old skateboard. I don't necessarily care about developing my skills or anything, it's just that skate shoes have come a long way since I first started skateboarding back in high school. I really like what Globe is offering right now, like these, these and, most importantly, these. Yeah, suck on that one, Jimmy fucking Choo.
Finally, I'm going to Toronto at the end of July to see John Oliver in a Just For Laughs gala hosted by Jimmy Fallon. I don't care that Jimmy Fallon's involved, I'm seeing John Oliver in Toronto and that's that. Leave me alone.
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| He's very quiet and enjoys puzzles. |
[tue may 27th, 2008 »12:23a] |
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mood |
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Exhausted |
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music |
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Flight of the Conchords- Leggy Blonde |
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Dear James Franco,
Thank you very much for these. Also, thank you for your performance in the Freaks and Geeks episode, "Discos and Dragons." And I guess I should also thank you for sporting some really skeezy facial hair and still managing to look exceedingly handsome. Really, I cannot thank you enough. Keep up the good work.
Sincerely,
The future Mrs. Desario.
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| Professor P.J. Cornucopia's Fantastic Foodmagorium and Great American Steakery! |
[thu may 22nd, 2008 »6:08p] |
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mood |
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Bored |
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music |
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Death Cab For Cutie- Pity and Fear |
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I'm sure I've done this at least twice before, but I like it so I'm doing it again. Tough shit.
1. Leave me a comment asking me to interview you.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. You will update your lj with the answers to the questions and repost this.
These are from conditioned:
( This sounds like rock and/or roll... )
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